Hubris or Gainz?! Hubris or Gainz?!

This week has been, on the most part, awesome for the confidence! I’m never going to be a record breaker and, let’s face it, I’m going to come last on 20th. But this week I just feel like I’m going to blow my 245kg total out of the water. True, there’s still every chance that comp day will go tits up, but fuck it! I’m going to allow myself to feel good this week!!

Monday 1 September

Today I travelled to Birmingham to train at Matt’s gym again. Sadly, there weren’t any 1000kcal flapjacks (or maybe it was fortunate as I’m watching my weight), but the squats were good!

I came away from this training session bursting with confidence. Last week’s squat sessions did nothing but knock my confidence, so feeling like they’re going well was very welcome!

Still, there is this niggling feeling that I’m getting a bit too confident! Pride before the fall and all that jazz…

Doing my best impression of Icarus...?

Doing my best impression of Icarus…?

  • Squats:
    • 20kg x 8
    • 40kg x 5
    • 60kg x 3
    • 70kg x 2
    • 75kg x 2
    • 82.5kg x 2 (x 5 sets)
  • Pause squats:
    • 45kg x 8
    • 50kg x 8 (x 4 sets)
  • Glute ham raises with a back extension:
    • 8 – at which point Matt told me I should add the back extensions…
    • 8 (x 3 sets)
  • Inverted row with bands (pull bar to chest) / seated band row:
    • 12 / 8 (x 4 sets)

Tuesday 2 September

Despite the sheer exhaustion of travelling across the country to visit a gym last night, today was a good day.

For some reason, though, I got it into my head that changing my diet to low-carb / high-fat would be a good idea… If you’ve read my blog before, you’ll know that my body isn’t good with high levels of fat. However, today I consumed 99g fat (normally 77g), 108g carbs (normally 184g) and my usual 180g-ish of protein. I felt OK…

I mean, take a look at my training session. The plan for today was to do five sets of 2 at 90-95% of my 1RM. My 1RM is 50kg, but I’ve based this cycle on an aspirational 1RM of 52.5kg. My first two working sets were at 47.5kg (90%) and were easy. I called The Boyfriend in to spot me for my third set, which would be the first time I’d ever attempted 50kg for more than one rep! The reps were so smooth and strong, and I was elated. Surely this would mean a PB at the British.

Sticking to the plan, I should’ve done another 2 sets at 50kg, but The Boyfriend suggested I take the weight up. 50kg wasn’t challenging enough…

I wasn’t sure I should: it wasn’t on the plan, and squats didn’t work out well last week when I pushed myself. But I gave in because curiosity got the better of me. Surely I’d be able to lift 52.5kg for one rep at least. First rep was amazing! Second rep, good! What the…? I honestly felt like I could’ve done another rep or two.

The feeling after this session was even better than after yesterday’s. Would it be too ambitious to open my bench at the British Classic with a 52.5kg attempt?

Then, of course, my pessimism kicked in and I started to worry that I was peaking too soon. That on comp day, the lifts weren’t going to go this well and I’d be lucky to beat my previous total. Ah negativity! I’m so glad you haven’t abandoned me completely!!

  • Bench press:
    • 20kg x 10
    • 30kg x 5
    • 40kg x 3
    • 47.5kg x 2 (x 2 sets)
    • 50kg x 2
    • 52.5kg x 2 (x 2 sets)
  • Close-grip bench press:
    • 35kg x 8 (x 4 sets)
  • Parallel bar dips:
    • 5 (x 4 sets)
  • Dumbbell shrugs:
    • 45lb x 5 (x 5 sets)
  • Band triceps pushdowns / band triceps kickbacks:
    • red band / yellow band x 12 / 12 (x 4 sets)

Wednesday 3 September

Today was not a good day. I was fucking exhausted. Maybe the pre-workout I took on Tuesday evening to help get me through the bench session was a bit much? I gave up on the high-fat / low-carb bollocks because a) my stomach was not happy (TMI?!) and b) I felt as weak as a kitten. I don’t really know why I decided I needed to do this: this morning I was 62.5kg. My weight (at the moment at least) is not a problem! Why do something so drastic as changing your diet this close to a competition?! Sometimes I astound myself with my stupidity!

Needless to say, these factors combined to produce the most pointless training session in history! I cut it short and didn’t go nearly as heavy as I probably should’ve done!

  • Seated barbell shoulder press:
    • 20kg x 10 (x 4 sets)
  • Front raise / side raise:
    • 2.5kgx 20 / 20 (x 2 sets)
  • Plank:
    • 45 secs (x 2)
  • Side planks:
    • 45 secs – 1 per side

Thursday 4 September

I spent today feeling incredibly nervous: tonight, I had to attempt 115kg (95%) for 2 reps. I was scared that this session wasn’t going to be as awesome as squats and bench. I was cacking myself because I was convinced I was going to fail!!

But I didn’t. In fact, I managed two sets at this top weight. They felt smooth and tight, and I danced around the gym like I OWNED IT!

And then I watched the video and noticed my lower back was a bit rounded. Nowhere near as bad as it has been in the past (with lighter weights) but definitely not the nice neutral spine it was meant to be. But then, this is the top end of my deadlifting range. Of course they’re not going to be beautiful. I sent the video to Matt and waited for his opinion…

By the time I went to bed (I still hadn’t heard from Matt), I’d managed to convince myself that they were the worst deadlifts ever and I was rubbish at this Powerlifting malarkey. Thankfully, I woke up to a very encouraging message from Matt, who said it was “Overall a good performance”. I really shouldn’t be allowed to think sometimes. I do myself no favours.


I have got to stop looking up!!

  • Deadlifts:
    • 60kg x 8
    • 80kg x 3
    • 90kg x 2
    • 100kg x 2
    • 110kg x 2
    • 115kg x 2 (x 2 sets)
  • Front squats:
    • 20kg x 8
    • 40kg x 5
    • 45kg x 5
    • 50kg x 5
    • 55kg x 5
    • 57.5kg x 3
  • Side lunges holding a 10kg plate:
    • 10 (x 4 sets)
  • V-bar pulldowns:
    • #6 (about 70lb?) x 12, 10, 8
    • #7 (about 80lb?) x 6, 4
  • Face pulls:
    • 20kg x 20
    • 25kg x 20 (x 4 sets)

Friday 5 September

*insert typical thank fuck it’s Friday statement here*

There’s nothing else to say really!


  • Band-resisted bench press (red bands):
    • 20kg x 10 (no bands)
    • 20kg x 5
    • 30kg x 5
    • 35kg x 5
    • 40kg x 5
  • Incline bench press:
    • 20kg x 10
    • 30kg x 5
    • 35kg x 5 (x 5 sets)
  • Floor press:
    • 30kg x 4
    • 40kg x 4 (x 4 sets)
  • Rear delt flye:
    • 4kg x 20 (x 4 sets)
  • Clams:
    • 12 (x 4 sets each side)

Saturday 6 September

67.5kg has never felt so heavy. This session was not fun and I ended up spending the rest of the day on the sofa, watching, among other things, my beloved Harlequins being idiots! They won, but it wasn’t nice to watch. It had better get better boys!!

Weirdly, I weighed in this morning at 61.7kg. WTF? I hadn’t realised I was eating at such a calorie deficit. I haven’t felt hungry at all; I have felt tired this week, but I thought that was because I’d gone to Birmingham on Monday and didn’t get home till late, the stupid couple of days of low-carbing it, and Tuesday and Thursday’s pre-workout making it difficult for me to get to sleep.

I am worried about eating too much more daily because my weight fluctuates so much, and at this rate I’ll be able to have a burger and ice cream the night before the comp (I won’t though!! lol). But I should be able to eat properly leading up to the day! And that makes me very happy. Obviously I don’t want to lose too much weight as that’ll fuck me over too.

Bloody hell, I do like to worry!!

  • Military press:
    • 20kg x 5
    • 25kg x 5
    • 30kg x 5 (x 2 sets)
    • 27.5kg x 5 (x 2 sets)
  • Snatch grip high pulls:
    • 20kg x 5
    • 50kg x 2 (x 5 sets)
  • Squats:
    • 20kg x 8
    • 40kg x 5
    • 60kg x 5
    • 67.5kg x 5 (x 5 sets)
  • Bodyweight squats with blue band around my knees:
    • 8 (x 4 sets)

So, I think I thoroughly deserve my rest day this week! My neck and shoulders are so stiff and I’m finding it a bit difficult to move. Hopefully, the mountain of ibuprofen I’ve taken will sort it out.

One more week of heavy training and then it’s a week of beautiful rest before the comp. Next week is a bit scary and I am worried I might hit the floor with a thud! Oh I do love to worry!



  1. lozette · · Reply

    I looooove a worry & a whinge! It’s therapeutic!!

    1. Isn’t it just!! Haha 😀

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